hong kong fever

The unfortunate malady that I picked up in china struck me down again yesterday. It wasn't entirely my fault- Susan sent me a text saying that my favourite HK clothing store had opened a Melbourne branch in melbourne central, and when I got there I noticed it was just next to the G-star shop, home of my favourite, but painfully expensive, jeans. Struggle as I might, the retail vortex was too powerful for me to resist; I was sucked in, idly browsing; apparently safe from harm, until I spied a denim motorbike jacket - very much like what I had been imagining myself wearing. Although in my imagination it was possibly made of leather, curiously enough there was a leather version- I tried looking at the price but it was too large for me to see all at once; i just got a vague impression of some monstrously looming thing. I tried it on but it still somehow had that creepy quality that has meant that I've never found a leather jacket i could wear; there are few garments that so easily make you look like a wanker. There are people [me] not meant to wear leather jackets.

I left somewhat poorer, but more denimy.

when i got home i decided to bask in a bit of retail afterglow before going to bed; I put on my new jacket, I sucked in my cheeks in my best blue steel look [not as convincing as rony's ], I looked at me from one side, I looked at me from the other side, I thought "one of my arms looks much smaller than the other"...
I checked again; one sleeve was slightly shorter and considerably tighter than the other, I wondered; "is it meant to be this way; a design feature, a bit of charming asymmetry that people with skinnier arms appreciate?"; the right sleeve was verging on uncomfortably narrow. I thought of Kaiser Wilhelm with his crippled arm; did his tailors make jackets like this? I pondered the lives of those crabs that scurry around with one foolishly oversized claw.

Today I returned to the shop and tried another of the same jacket; two normal arms. There was no problem exchanging, but now I have odd niggling doubts; is that bit really meant to be like that? How do know that it's not the piece for a jacket two sizes smaller? The quality controllers just check the seams, they would never notice....

by the way, this is for all you monkeys: http://monkeymagic.ytmnd.com/